Hey, I’ve been gone for a month.
Since the last post, life has changed a little.
My parents haven’t magically changed their minds about me unfortunately, but I have made small steps in my transition without them noticing.
For example, my close friends now refer to me as he/him and use the permanent name I picked out. I feel like I can finally be myself around them. I can sense walls that had previously stood tall and strong crumbling, and it honestly felt liberating.
One of my friends also bought me a binder, which was amazing. When I first put it on I teared up with happiness, and I’m not a crying type. I’ve had it less than a week but it has honestly boosted my confidence so much. I’m still trying to figure out how to wash it. I realised today that I don’t know what detergent looks like. Hanging it up to dry is also an issue as my parents don’t know about it, so I can’t leave it in the open. My mum left the house recently and my dad and brother were out all day so I could hang it up in the shower, but I think this is a one-off situation. I’ll find a way around it I’m sure.
There’s lots of stressful things happening right now. Obviously I’ve got to deal with my parents, but I’ve also recently had lots of GCSE coursework and mock exam preparation dumped on me. I can’t wait until it’s all over.
As much as things didn’t go very well a month ago, I’m already working towards recovery. I can’t afford to let anyone bring me down, I’ve got to be resilient. Thank you for the kind messages you sent in response to my last post, I’m glad there are people in this world who support me.